Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize