if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
