That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
