If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
