I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
