he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
