I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
