well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
