You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
