Quick, to the slutcave!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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