whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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