I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Pappa wants mamma naked
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
