Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
