If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
