I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize