Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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