at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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