So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
