i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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