The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
