pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
