I puked a lego.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
