I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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