I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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