i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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