my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
