sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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