we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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