am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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