Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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