You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
