He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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