tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
