Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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