you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
