yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
