its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
