is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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