You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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