I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
