If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
