I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
