Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
