she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
