If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
