She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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