i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
