erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
