LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
