Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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