I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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