i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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