Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
