i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
