So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
