Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
