Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
