so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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