I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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