so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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