Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
