All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
