you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
