hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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