She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
