oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
